As I write this title I start to doubt myself. I have had two failed marriages and have been in my third marriage for less than a year. But I have learned from my mistakes and willing to share them and have been using it with my husband our entire almost 4 years together. I am not a love or marriage guru. I just wanted to learn from mistakes and apply them to the man I am married to. In turn, I do believe that it takes two to work on a relationship. In my past I knew we both failed many aspects of our marriage. Like I said I am no expert just a woman who has been threw a lot and has learned many lessons over the years.
Date your love
I have fallen out of love in past relationships. In my marriage my husband and I really focus on being in love. We try to go out on dates at least once a month. It doesn’t have to be anything big. We leave the kids at home and just go have us time. We will go to dinner, have a drink and just be together. I love this time with him. I get to focus on who we are and where we are instead of just surviving as busy working parents. We talk about our day (of course the kids come up) this just give us time to unwind, connect and fall back in love.
Admit when you are wrong and give it space
Probably my least favorite thing in the world to do. I am a stubborn woman and hate when my husband and I are in an argument and I find out I am wrong. It’s literately the worst thing for me. I just breath take space to search my feelings admit my doing and then take more space….believe me it necessary. Just like the feelings from the Pixar movie Inside Out I am run mainly by my anger feeling. I am quick to loose my temper finding space allows me to chill out and calm down.
Find happiness daily
In the busy world of marriages and parenting its crucial to find small sweet happy times in the middle of the chaos. In our family’s case. We both work, my husband goes to school, we have a 17 year old daughter and a 7 year old daughter. To put it mildly, we are completely busy and finding small times to cuddle before you pass out from pure exhaustion is one way my husband connect after a long day. We both are very silly we clown around while making a meal. We try to have moments of connection throughout the day to keep us going when we are apart.
Take the good with the bad
Know that everyday won’t be a fairy tale. Some days will be rocky and those days will pass. In hard times I remember why I married my husband and all that we have been through. I know that at times we both can be difficult but we have been through hard times and realizing this when those bad times come makes it better to handle.
In the end I’m absolutely not perfect. I married a man who isn’t perfect but I know we are perfect for one another. Marriage takes work, time and effort by both. I know that my failures in other relationships have only fueled the wife I am today. Those relationships teach me and council me on how to be better in the future. It has been a long slow road but each day I love my husband. Each day together we work at staying in love.